TO: gmskeens@yahoo.com
FROM: Little Lady@yahoo.com

Date: September 10, 2002

Dear Ms. Skeens,

I am writing you about the conversation Herbert and I had with you the other day after his speech therapy session. You mentioned that sometimes people need to be around other people who are going through the same thing so they can share their experiences as part of the healing process. (Nagler, 1990). During our conversation you suggested that Herbert think about joining a support group for people who have swallowing disorders. Well I think that’s an excellent idea and Herbert, well he’s a little reluctant to share his “problems” with strangers says he doesn’t want people looking at him and feeling sorry for him. Well he may not be able to swallow but he’s still and contrary and stubborn as ever but I’ve finally got him talked into going to at least one meeting. So I was hoping that you might be able to give me the name and phone number of the person that I need to call to set this up.

Thank you for helping Herbert.

Wanda Mae Calhoun

TO: Little Lady@yahoo.com
FROM: gmskeens@yahoo.com
Date: September 10, 2002

Hello Ms. Calhoun,

I would be happy to provide you with the support group information. You may contact Imogene Scott at 1-800-555-1212 or e-mail her at SSG@yahoo.com. I believe they normally meet on Tuesday’s at 7:00 p.m. at the local library.

Swallowing disorders can be very distressing, but the more you understand the causes and find ways to treat the problem, the more successful you are in overcoming them. (Klugman & Ross, 1994). Swallowing disorders not only affect the person directly but also their family and friends as I’m sure you know first hand (Dysphagiaonline.com, 2002). I’m really glad that Herbert has made the decision to give the support group a try. I believe you both will be pleasantly surprised regarding how helpful other people who are in exactly the same situation can be. Please call me if you should have any questions before Herbert’s next session on Friday.

Geneva M. Skeens

TO: SSG@yahoo.com
FROM: Little Lady@yahoo.com

Dear Ms. Imogene Scott,

My name is Wanda Mae Calhoun and my husband’s name is Herbert Alexander Calhoun. We would like to come to one of your support group meetings. Herbert has a swallowing disorder as a result of a hemispheric stroke two months ago. (Barer, 1989). Geneva Skeens’ is Herbert’s speech-language pathologist and she thought it would be a good idea if we joined your support group or at least attended a couple of meetings. Herbert has been having a very difficult time because he is not able to swallow liquid or solid foods right now. He is easy to upset and feels isolated from his friends since his stroke. (Nagler, 1990). He had to retire from his job as a crew chief at the airport and now stays home all the time. He stopped bowling with his league and mopes around the house all day and most of the night. Ms. Skeens feels that your group can help us because Herbert is getting to the point where he’s feeling like his life is over because he isn't able to eat right now. (Gergen & Davis, 1994). He's becoming impossible for me to deal with. Please let us know when, where and the time of your meetings.

Thank you,

Wanda Mae Calhoun

TO: Little Lady@yahoo.com
FROM: SSG@yahoo.com
Date: September 11, 2002

Hi Ms. Calhoun,

We would love for you and your husband to join our support group. We have a small group of around 10-15 people on the average night. Members of our group have developed close relationships over the years and I want to encourage you and Herbert to give us a try. We meet on Tuesday’s at 7:00 p.m. in the Floyd County Library, 2nd floor, Preston Room.

Many times loss whether by death, disruption of relationships, illness, or disabilities is a significant event in a person’s life that leads to the pattern of behavior, affective, and cognitive changes know as grief (Klugman & Ross, 1994). It takes time for us to learn how to adjust to such changes and have a swallowing disorder is especially difficult. The reason why I say this is because many of us find eating to be a pleasurable and social activity. Clearly swallowing disorders can affect the quality of life. That’s why it’s important to learn how to cope with the changes that are occurring in your husband’s life. I know that our group can help you both, so we look forward to seeing you and Herbert on Tuesday.

Imogene Scott

TO: SSG@yahoo.com
FROM: Little Lady@yahoo.com
Date: September 12, 2002

Ms. Scott,

We’ll see you Tuesday night. Herbert says, "He hopes this group isn't touchy, feely, or a group of old busybodies who have nothing better to do but nag cause he gets enough of that from his family." He also wants to know if they'll be "FOOD" there. I don't know why my baby acts so stupid sometimes, he can't even swallow.

Thank you,

Wanda Mae Calhoun

August 23, 2002

I can’t eat and I’m miserable. Everyone around me is miserable too. I guess its contagious or perhaps my constant complaining is what's making them feel this way. I just feel totally worthless. (Gergen & Davis, 1997). I can’t even go out to dinner with my friends because it makes them self-conscious about eating in front of me. And me, it starves me to death to smell food and not be able to eat it. Wanda Mae is always saying, “Herbert you’ve got to listen to the doctor.”

It’s been over 1 month and I still can’t swallow without getting choked. I hate it when the doctor says there is no change in my condition. He keeps saying how my nervous system has been damaged by my stroke. Doesn’t he think I already know this? He insists that I keep the feeding tube in my stomach so my body will receive enough nourishment and protein to maintain my health. (Finney & Gettig, 2002). He’s always talking about swallowing phases and how I could aspirate and die. I know I could handle that oral phase. (Dysphagia, 2002). My teeth and jaws are as strong as a pit bulls.

September 1, 2002

Why can’t I eat is my question? I feel like I can manage it. I’m only 65 and you’d think I was 85 by the way my family treats me. Perhaps on my next visit to the speech therapist we’ll try some that of thickener in gravy she's talks about. (Searle, 2002). Mmmm gravy sounds so good. Geneva said later we may be able to add thickner to liquids that will actually make them easier to swallow and lessen my chances of becoming choked. (Searle, 2002). She knows what she's talking about after all she has worked to help me recover most of my speech and language skills. My voice gets weak when I’m tired but otherwise its fine.

Last Saturday I tried drinking water and got choked. I used to tell Wanda Mae about getting choked but I don’t anymore because she gets so crazy, screaming and yelling about how I’m gonna die if I don’t listen to the doctor. I tell her I know my body better than some doctor and then she starts all over again. She just has no idea how thirsty I get, how much I would pay to be able to drink a glass of water.

I never realized how much I took for granted until my stroke. Maybe I’d be better off if I didn’t know I couldn’t drink or eat. I am just a burden now with Wanda Mae always fussing over me like I’m some child. Lord that woman drives me crazy. “Herbert put that down” seems to be all she ever says to me anymore. “Herbert you act like a child always sneaking around in the kitchen” she says, and “You've reverted back to your childhood.”
What does she know about it anyways. She’s not the one that can’t eat.

Hey I was thinking about telling my therapist that I’ll take her out for some hot fudge cake with whipped cream and nuts after my therapy session on Thursday. Oh well at least I can dream about food.

Here is my second revision to my powerpoint presentation: How swallowing disorders affect self-image. Click on : Genre 5 Swallowing Disorders 1

(application/vnd.ms-powerpoint, 216 KB)

. Hope you like it and find it useful.

Geneva:)